Welcome To Healing Cassandra™

A Thriving Community of Women

TESTIMONIALS

  • "Healing Cassandra has given me resources and a community of support so good that I can stay in a marriage that I almost left. I learned to take care of me! I can't change him, only me."

    Becky

  • "The community is a safe space where I can be myself and talk about my experiences without judgment. I love the monthly events, and I've learned so much from the other women. If you are a woman with an ASD partner, I highly recommend joining. It’s the best gift I've ever given myself!"

    Jacqueline

  • "There are so many helpful resources shared that are helping me as I learn and grow. Several people in my life said they've noticed I'm doing well (or better), and I've found myself saying, "Well, I've joined this group online, and it has been super helpful..."

    Elaine

  • “This community has become a daily dose of blessings for me! I'm enjoying getting to know the other wives and celebrating our differences. Having different backgrounds and circumstances gives each one of us a unique perspective on navigating a neurodiverse relationship so that we can learn from each other...and I have!"

    Melena

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

Why Doesn’t Anyone Believe Me?

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Cassandra. She was known to be kind and compassionate by nature but also highly intelligent and courageous. Cassandra was adored by the Olympian god, Apollo, who sought to win her affections. As a courtship gesture, Apollo bestowed her with the gift of prophecy. When Cassandra rebuffed his advances, a scorned Apollo sought retribution with a curse that would have devastating consequences for Cassandra. Although she could foresee the future and speak the truth, no one would believe her. This loathsome curse caused Cassandra endless suffering. She was seen as a liar and rejected by her friends and family. Cassandra fell into deep despair.

What Is Cassandra Syndrome?

“Cassandra syndrome is the neurotypical (NT) spouse’s experience of emotional suffering that results from distressing interpersonal relations with a spouse who does not understand, empathize with, or validate the NT’s pain and sorrow.”

— MARK HUTTEN M.A.

The story of Cassandra serves as a metaphor for an NT spouse’s experiences in a neurodiverse relationship.

Often, when the NT woman reaches out to friends and family for support, they don’t recognize the partner she describes and disbelieve her, much like our heroine, Cassandra. Even worse is when she seeks help from a professional who isn’t knowledgeable about the complexity of neurodiverse relationships. If a therapist isn’t skilled in treating women with an ASD partner, they often fail to recognize the ongoing traumatic stress that occurs within the home and disregards her pleas for help.

One wife states, “My husband is brilliant but seems to lack empathy. He is only interested in discussing facts and figures and spending time with his special interest. I love my husband, but sometimes I feel like I married a hologram. He doesn’t understand my desire for intimacy and affection. Communication is difficult and often leads to meltdowns or shutdowns. I am so lonely. We have few friends, and my family has no idea of the daily struggles in our relationship.”

The long-term effects of Cassandra syndrome can be debilitating. Many NT women endure chronic isolation, anxiety, and depression. Others have difficulty sleeping, digestive disorders, and serious autoimmune diseases. Some women exhibit persistent anger and severe resentment while feeling helpless to change the situation. Almost all will experience a loss of self. 

The good news is you are not alone, and you can recover!

Welcome!

I’m Margot Alexis, and I’m delighted you’re here! If you found your way to our website, you may be a neurotypical woman experiencing confusion, frustration, and loneliness in your neurodiverse relationship.

 Despite our challenges and past trauma, I believe we are capable, resilient women. We have it within us to do the necessary work to heal and find joy. 

My mission for Healing Cassandra is to offer a nurturing community for women to learn, connect, and grow together. A place where you are inspired and motivated to make positive changes and build friendships with women who share your struggles.

 You don’t have to rely on the hope that your partner will change for you to feel fulfilled. You can reclaim your life.  

I invite you to join us. Together, we can grow into the joyful women we are meant to be!

Hugs, Margot